figuring it out

Back in January when we set up our blog, things were slightly chaotic for me. I had just moved, changed jobs slightly and was really just trying to figure out what the heck I wanted to do with my life. I had some part-part-part-time work in marketing, which I was really excited about, and was then left to decide whether I wanted to change career paths, work more hours, work full-time, and how to balance taking care of Broderick on top of all of that.

The first part of the year got kind of crazy. I kept Broderick in daycare as I decided so we would have options depending on what happened. He got sick–a lot. A bazillion and a half ear infections and very little sleep later, we got tubes put in his ears and it’s been much better. Back in April, I decided that this goal was done for the time being.

Of course, life had other plans and now, at the end of August, I’m back to my old job that I loved but with fewer hours and a little more flexibility and Broderick is in daycare three full days. He’s sick this week, so it’s been nice to be home with him (though not nice that he’s sick, obviously).

What I’ve learned from all of this is that there’s really no way to “figure it out.” There’s been jobs I’ve seen come up that I would really love to do but I also recognize that there will always be jobs and there won’t always be time with baby Broderick. What we have right now is working for us, and if it doesn’t or changes for whatever reason, we’ll find another way to make it work. I need to stop trying to figure everything out and just let things work out.

So, with that, I will be changing my goal of figuring it out to making it work–putting things in place to help our household run more smoothly and do more things with Broderick and my professional life so that things can evolve as necessary. It’s time to let go of the control-freak aspect of my personality and go with the flow and let it be. (This goal could also be called get your…stuff…together but make it work sounds so much nicer. Plus I can picture Tim Gunn in my head every time I say it.)

our new normal

In the past, I was never the kind of person who did well with change. It’s chaotic, which went against my crazy type-A personality. Now, change still feels chaotic, but I’m more used to it, because it happens more frequently.

Obviously, one of my biggest changes over the past few years has been Broderick, and obviously (at least to everyone else) this snowballed many other changes, including a move, a job change, and three daycare changes, among others. When I set my goal to figure out my life, I did that during a time that was most chaotic for us. On top of the move, I had just transitioned out of a job I loved into a job that I knew I would still love with the same organization but with fewer hours than before. I needed to figure out what I wanted our day to day life to look like.

Well, here we are a few months later, and while I’m not saying nothing will change ever again, we have settled into a weekly routine-ish. And it feels a little less chaotic. Broderick goes to daycare three days a week in the morning, and then he is home with me Mondays and Fridays and afternoons. This gives me time to work on the house (YOU’RE GOING DOWN WALLPAPER), write my book (eventually) and work on my projects for my day job, as well as any other new opportunities that come up.

So, for the time being, I’m going to cross Goal No. 1 off the list and say that life is (somewhat) figured out. And I finally picked a paint color. It’s called “Predictable.” Not kidding.